Tuesday, July 30
💤 Sound asleep
When I left the house, I remembered to check her.
What started as an uneventful day turned into a bit of panic, for a few moments.
I missed a message from Mija saying she was going to watch a movie…. “Can I get to her in time” is my usual thought.
She has no impulse control, really.
So when she thinks of something, she just does it.
She was allowed to be pretty independent as a teenager because I could trust her. She always told me what was going on and where she would be or with.
Now it’s just a take-off and maybe let me know in route. I’ve had to chase her down a couple of times now, and it scared the shit out of me and the other parent.
Not quite sure how to deal with this yet in a way that is for her protection and yet allow her to be an adult. But all logic has left the building. She is confused very easily.
So, when I get these messages at work, and cannot just run without a reason, I’m terrified we are going to meet a tragedy later.
Today, she watched a movie alone. But started chatting with a new person. She is just giddy talking about it. Would seem innocent enough in her younger days. Now she cannot distinguish reality from delusion, nor a person’s intent of harm.
It’s a wild roller coaster of emotion for me.
Hope I can keep my head in a safe space, because the last time, I flipped out quite a bit.
I’ve had enough for today. We need a reset for tomorrow.
Night Night
Stay Positive | Be Blessed | Share Often
LaLa 👋
So much love from a mom to a daughter, how can anyone resist that.